We're Sorry, The Fingers You Have Used To Dial Are Too Fat

38 F , Inland Empire ,CA
 Rating: 4.0/5.0

December In The House Of Skinny B*tches

 Rating: 4.0/5.0
Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 12:21 PM filed under Diet & Nutrition postings
Due to the recent holiday (first and foremost of the Eatin' Holidays) I was invited to my girlfriend's father's house for the first time.

Lemme just tell you about the Candy Drawer.

First, it's not just one drawer. It's like, two drawers and a cabinet. Loaded. And not just your typical snacky time foods either. This is like, actual candy, the impulse-buy stuff straight from the checkout line. Except boxes and boxes of it.

Her father is not a fat man AT ALL.

Guess who inherited that metabolism? (Hint: It wasn't me [the implications of that would be gross].)

I live with the girl and her sister in an endless cyclone of fast food, junk food, and going out to dinner. To top this all off, I work at Chiptole, which is probably the best out of all fast food to be sure, but only if you do it right. No tortillas! Put down that chip! Guacamole? Are you crazy?

Also the second of the great Eatin' Holidays looms before us, not to mention the great Drinkin' Holiday after that. And, as if that weren't enough, the illustrious Natal Day of yours truly falls somewhere betwixt the two. O_O You know what my family's gonna wanna do? The same thing they do every year, Pinky. Go to dinner.

What am I armed with against this onslaught?

- I love oatmeal. And it's not COMPLETELY disgusting with protein powder in it.

- I can take my coffee black. Lattes are for sissys.

- I will eat any vegetable. Actually, I'll eat pretty much anything in general. I've got options here.

- I can (sort of) use spices.

- I think water tastes good.

If I come out of this alive, I expect you all waiting with a freakin' medal. I dropped 60lbs. three years ago through sheer self-hatred. Let's see if I can have a little more fun this time.

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