My FitClick Journey

A conglomeration of thoughts from the past couple of days...
(1) Don't watch Cake Boss when cutting back on snacking.
(2) Do watch out for Oliver as he will try to mimic your exercises.
(3) Do count dancing with your son and chasing him around as good for your heart.
(4) Don't expect to be able to avoid the choclate truffles the first week of your diet when hanging with women and wine.
(5) Do watch how often I talk to myself in blog format in one day.

Most importantly as I work through these first days, I am painfully aware that this process is tied into something much deeper than calories and workout plans. As my past months have been especially dark and difficult, I find that this process is intimately connected with my internal, and eternal being.

I shall explain (just in case you were dying to know)....I set high standards for myself in calories and workout plans. I have been able to meet these just fine before. However, it feels really overwhelming right now to meet these goals.  And I quickly realized, on day one, as my head was spinning trying to figure out when and how to accomplish these goals, that I had set myself up for failure. I looked to perfectionism to be my trainer, which  just so happens to be an old habit of mine.

As I sat there realizing this, I saw again my need for Grace. Grace, you ask, in a workout routine? Grace in counting calories? Well, yes, but mostly Grace in my internal workings. I aim to let grace saturate my life so that I can show this in relation to others. Yet, I find allowing Grace to work its way into the deepest parts of me, to be shown to me and accepted by me, is a different thing all together. We have a big God who has shown us grace, and grace exists whether or not we accept it. Yet, if we do not actively choose to let it in (although we seek grace because grace first saught us) and let it change us and accept it, we miss the point of it altogether.

I started on Monday looking to my strength and ability to find peace, joy and contentment from my diet and workout, simply because I have been in such need of these lately. And I very quickly realized, once again, its not in my ability that I will find peace or joy. It is in what Grace has done for me and will do in me in the days to come. In this I find the peace I desperately seek. In this I will find the joy I long for and the contentment I expected to find in goals met.

Overly complex thoughts for a diet blog? Maybe. But for me, there's no denying that this round will be more intrinsically connected to my internal and eternal existence than ever before.