How I got healthier

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klenon

46 F
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Night Before Day 1

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Saturday, February 20, 2010 at 10:53 PM filed under Weight Loss postings
Okay, I feel like I have tried everything - even though I know that I haven't.  I am hoping that maybe I'll be able to motivate myself to be healthier.  Here's my long term goals - I really want to be healthier for my kids, I want to be a runner (I've always wanted to do this for some reason), I want to lose about 30 plus pounds, I want to look better for my husband, and I want to be a positve role model for my daughter.  I cannot expect that my daughter will be able to have a positve self image if all she hears and sees is me complaining about myself or how I look.  If I can get myself into a healthy eating and exercise routine, she is going to see that and follow my lead.  I cannot let her fall into the same traps that I have fallen into and I don't want to be a hypocrite to her.  The same goes for my son, but I am more concerned about my daughter.

As for wanting to look better for my husband, it is not just for him.  I want to actually feel sexier when I look in the mirror.  Right now I just feel old and fat.  It is affecting the way that I look at myself and how I perceive him looking at me.  I need to feel that I am a sexy person so taht I can act like a sexy person when it is just the two of us.  Right now I actually disgust myself at times - it is pretty obvious that I have a very negative image of myself.  I am really not that bad looking, I just feel like I am. 

As far as the exercising, I need to make it a priority.  I am going to try very hard to wake up early and do what needs to be done.  I'm not sure I am going to be able to swing it, but it is time to stop being lazy and time to start making a stand for myself.  I HAVE to do this.

If we move to Minnesota, which it looks like we will, I don't want to go out there fat and lazy.  I want for us to separate and then to work hard at losing the weight and excess rolls.  The next time that my husband sees me, I want him to be shocked at how different I look and how much better I look to him.  I am so tired of feeling like I am not good enough.  I know that my outward appearance is not what makes me good enough.  However, my head is going to tell me taht it is.  Another area that I need to work on...

I am really hoping that keeping this food journal and making myself plan ahead will help.  If I can stick with this, I would be so proud of myself.  I don't want to quit again - I NEED to keep with this!!!
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Last comment by catherine341 on 2/20/2010 11:40 PM
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