My motivation..

SML25
39 F
 Unrated

The beginning

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Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 2:27 PM filed under Weight Loss postings
Good morning!! Welcome to my first blog!! I'm not really sure what I should be writing about.. but I'm gonna give it a try....
I guess I'll start out and tell ya a bit about myself! I am 5'3 and now weigh a whopping 238 lbs! That's right folks.. you may laugh.. however.. 7 months ago, I was about 75lbs heavier. August of last year, I decided to change my life and get healthy. I'm not gonna go into reasons why and excuses on how I became over weight, because really the truth is, I didn't care and expected people to accept me for who I was and not how I looked. Well!! The world is a cruel place and only in MY perfect world, would people look at you for your personality and not the way you look (Unless that person was fat too. *lil inside humor*). I'll be honest, I've always been on the bigger side. However, I never had anyone make fun of me to my face.. not even in high school. I was super bubbly and effervescent. I enjoyed people and tried to be kind to everyone. I guess that's where I got the "People should accept me and like me because I'm nice!" HaHA!! I'm laughing there btw... It makes me giggle on a daily basis actually. I have STILL never been made fun of because of my voluptiousness... :) BUT! I have had hurtful comments. Reason number 1 for trying to lose weight. So that when I do.. those who made those comments.. well I'm basically gonna beat the crap out of them.. with my huge woman muscles. :) OK! Just kidding.. seeing if you're paying attention.. remember im nice. Nice people dont beat up others because they are mean!

I went on a date one day.. and the guy told me.. "wow.. you're really gorgeous!" Fat girls.. aka me.. don't really hear that word a lot, so I got kinda excited and smiled... then he followed that comment with.." And if you lost weight.. Damn you'd be hot!,Work on that weight loss and I'd for sure date you!" Can you imagine?! How embarressing.. little does this butt munch know.. I've already lost 75lbs.. and that was HARD WORK I tell ya. I looked at him.. and unleashed about 10 years of hurt..then politely excited the scene, sat in my car and cried. This was recent by the way. Here is reason 2.. I don't want guys to look at me and think exactly THAT! Wow.. so pretty... but fat. Ugh. guess I can't date her. I have been informed by many people that appearently that is what men think! Probably true and then I think, do I really want to date someone who thinks so low of me?! As I'm losing weight, I'm finding that I too am judging people. This isn't on purpose, and I'd rather not! I don't think its fair to be judged without the person whos doing the judging, knowing the situation. I was at the store the other day, walking around the isles.. not entering the middle, like all the good diet books tell you. I had lettuce, tomatoes, basically any type of green vegitable in my cart and was feeling pretty good about it too. I decided to get some sugar(truvia.. awesome stuff oh and no calories!) And saw this lady.. cart was completely full of candy, popcorn.. chips... at first I was thinking.."Oh party animal!" Then..I looked at her a bit closer and could tell it was all for her. She was a large woman.. maybe in her 30ies, depressed look on her face. Then it hit me! OH MY GOSH! That's me in about 5 years if I dont do something about my weight. I am not trying to lose weight for "other" people or as some of you think..Boys! I am trying to do it for myself.

I have worked REALLY hard and getting my life together so that I can be a great catch for someone someday. No debt (cept for my car), have an amazing job and guess what.. I can take care of myself. :) Woop.. definitely a winner right there!
So now.. weight loss.. I need to lose a good amount of weight. After that last incident I decided to hire a personal trainer. The first day, she kicked my ass! I felt sore in places, that I had nooooo idea I could even be sore. I started working out about 2 weeks ago.. and so far I have lost a whopping 12 lbs. Woooo hoo!
She has me going to Ablab on tuesdays and Zumba on Wednesdays and really.. I feel great! I am really enjoying working out and how it makes me feel. My energy level is going up!! I already have wayy too much, ask my co workers. I have made a goal for myself.. I'd like to lose another 10 lbs in 2 weeks... lets see if I can do it!!
 
 
 

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