Journey to the unknown ideal

It's been one week since signing up, and I missed 3 scheduled W/O's. What a start, I did miss them due to other actual work needs, but I would have liked to completed at least a few in the first week.  Ok, lets start at the beginning.  I'm a 38 yr old male, looking to get into shape again!  The word "again" having 2 meanings -
1.  There was a time when I was healthier &
2.  Another attempt to achieve that healthy state.

Eight years ago I lost 35 lbs on the Atkins diet, bulked up working out and felt incredible.  Since then it's been a slide down the heathly meter  AHHHH!
Numerous times over the years I have tried to get back to that state of healthy euphoria where the equation (food in = weght gain) does not exist.  The only results though were failure and disgust.  Why?  Why could I not repeat what I had previously been successful at?  That question made me feel like a failure in itself.  Why did I let myself not succeed?  What is holding my mouth open and my willpower back?  These are some of the questions I will be discussing here.  The true thoughts on what it takes to succeed.  The arguements with ourselves, the donut won't hurt, I'm too tired to workout, I'll only only do 8 reps this time, I have to have some fun in my life and on and on and on!  I hope you enjoy my journey.