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Gratification & Gratitude

Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 12:38 AM filed under Diet & Nutrition postings
My girlfriends invited me to happy hour at our favorite wine bar.  It had been a while since we went out, and it was payday (woop woop!), but I said, "Sorry, ladies. I have a date with Bikram."  Yes, I skipped happy hour with my ladies for yoga.  Something like this would've been unheard of a few months ago.  I've slowly realized that it's the small decisions that make the most impact, for the good or the bad, for one path or another.  Tonight, I wasn't so sure I'd made the right choice; it felt lonely.  I came home for a moment to change and grabe a bite to eat. My boyfriend was home and we sat on the couch and watched an Office re-run for a minute before it was time for me to take off. Again, slight pang of lonliness...this active lifestyle.  Was I missing out on my relationships? For that matter, where did I think my relationships would go if I wasn't cradling them every moment? On my the short drive to the yoga studio, I thought to myself that maybe it was alright to feel lonely if it was for this.  If it was for bettering myself and finding my own peace.  In the past I was lonely in an indulgent way, in a self-isolating depressed way...I didn't get to know myself when I did that, however, I got pretty familiar with Mr. Chain-Smoking and Mr. Beveldere.  They were my best friends and I loved to spiral into oblivion with them any given night. Now, this is different...I'm with myself.  My Self.  It's lonely and a bit uncomfortable.  I've always loved solitude with a good book or journaling at a coffeehouse, but it's not the same.  To make a decision that sets me apart from my routine, to create a different routine and a different lifestyle, is different. It's alien. And it feels amazing.  Even the strangeness feels good, because it's DIFFERENT. I'm challenging myself and moving out of my comfort zone in a good way. I healed during my yoga tonight. I released the ache in my shoulder and the guilt in my neck. I released it all into the universe to dissipate and become no more.  It's no longer needed. I'm listening to my body and listening to My Self.  I'm not afraid anymore.

; )

Coffee with Soy 4 oz
2 shortbread cookies
Raw Revolution Spirulina Bar
Salmon 4 oz.
Hummus & 1-2 Pita
Yogurt with Honey
2 eggs with butter
Apple & Raw Cashews

1 Comment (add)
Last comment by holieta on 3/20/2010 7:59 AM

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