Chunky Munky

I had my 27th birthday on the 27th this month, and while I only over ate *slightly* I have found that I am feeling pretty disappointed with myself. Self loathing - that's every girl's dream birthday present!

A couple of drinks and a tiny sliver of cake adds up to a lot more calories than one would think. Alcohol is not something I have been allowing myself to have: one apple martini is 300 (empty) calories! Not to mention, one drink usually turns into 2 or 3 drinks, which also makes me forget myself - I find myself munching on nachos and fries and before you know it, I've chalked up a whopping 1500 calories or more in one sitting! Not good.

I was better this year, however. I've been following my diet and exercise routine so religiously that I didn't want to stray too far. Losing a few pounds really makes that commitment to your diet and exercise plan that much stronger. But I didn't want to be a total lame-o on my birthday, so I allowed myself the 3 drinks. I didn't get any appetizers, and I "budgeted" for the extra calories that day, so I only went over by a couple hundred calories, and it was still within my safe zone so it's not THAT big a deal.

The following night was family night, where I had one and a half glasses of red wine (yummy, totally worth it) and a sliver of cake after dinner (also yummy and worth every last morsel.) I again only went slightly over but still find myself feeling low about the extra calories.

Is it because I'm terrified that I'll suddenly shoot up 10lbs? Of course! Is that reasonable? No! I think this is a healthy fear for me, though. In all my previous attempts to lose weight I could never figure out why I couldn't drop those pounds - now I understand, thanks to this AWESOME website, that I was simply not getting that daily calorie deficit. I worked out hard and watched my weight stay the same because I was eating the right amount of calories to maintain my weight. It all makes perfect sense to me now - I'm so grateful to have learned this and to finally be someone who gets to lose the weight that I've struggled with for so long! It's so rewarding to hear people say "you look slimmer than you did last week" and to finally be able to say "YEA I DO CAUSE I LOST 5 LBS HOORAY!"

So, I'll let go of the disappointment, because I'm actually doing really well. I know that if I continue being faithful to my beloved diet and workout routine the weight WILL come off. It's nice knowing that I have the control. It's okay if I slip a little once or twice a year as long as it's not a total wipe out.

Now all I have to do is get past Easter...