When it comes to weight loss and weight gain I've come to the realization that you just can't win.
Either you're too fat or you're too thin. You work out too much or too little. Everyone has an opinion on what you should or should not be doing. Currently i'm feeling like the Britney Spears song "Pieces of Me".
I realize that for myself personally and the people who have known me for years that this personal weight loss journey can be somewhat alarming i guess. I was the lazy fat girl couch potato. Pure bliss consisted of laying on the couch or in bed watching TV and eating anything and everything in sight. I think about those days and going back to that lifestyle every single day. Every night i have to control myself from going to delivery.com and ordering up my favorite foods. Sometimes i just go to the website anyway and look at all the food and then just not order anything. Believe me i know its weird. It's who i was for YEARS that doesn't just change in a few months. But my priorities have changed and i have a new outlook on life so my lifestyle has changed.
Even though i'd rather be on the couch watching tv and eating i know that its not healthy...not only physically but mentally either. After seeing my body change for the better...i'm also noticing how much i've damaged body physically from being so over weight for so long. Whether its stretch marks or lose skin its its embarrassing and sometimes i wish i was heavier again so i wouldn't have to see what i've done to myself. its a vicious cycle.
Just because i'm at the gym everyday doesn't mean i'm a workout whore! just because i'm at the gym for over an hour doesn't mean that i'm getting an eating disorder or a workout disorder! (does that even exist? it probably does) Seeing positive results in my body has changed my mindset and i want to stay on track. it makes me MENTALLY feel better as well. When i'm bored instead of eating (like i'd normally do) being at the gym keeps me occupied, stressed out i can over come it with a great work out. I'm finally committed and disciplined to follow through with a promise i made to myself. After getting the Bodybugg i'm able to see how many calories i burn all day long and i never realize how LITTLE i burn. I was jaded by the machines telling me that i'm burning this...when i'm really burning THAT! When you weigh less you burn less. So i have to work out longer and a little harder to reach my target each day and if that means that i have to be at the gym for 2 hours or maybe a little more then that's what i have to do to stay on track! DISCIPLINE, not crazy.
I have a goal and i haven't reached it yet and i'm trying to do whatever it takes to get there. I'm not in a race with anyone. I'm not trying to compare my body to my friends or celebrities, i don't care how much you weigh in comparison to me. I don't care what size your jeans are in comparison to mine. Just because you view my weight one way doesn't mean i view it the same. i'm trying to do whats best for ME!
I really really do hate working out...but i love the results...and i've never worked out hard enough or long enough to ever see the results and now that i have...i'm hooked. I don't want to be stick thin. I don't want to be a rail. I looooove having curves... I miss having a larger chest, i miss having a bigger booty! i love having thick thighs. I'm just going for healthy, FIT, athletic lifestyle now. It took me 28 years to realize... you really do only have one body and you need to treat it like a temple. i didn't treat mine like a temple at all and every time i look in the mirror i get reminded of that.
I guess the point i'm trying to make is... i've judged people that are over weight, and i've judged people that are stick thin...and i know what it feels like to be on both ends of that stick. you need to be happy with yourself and your overall health. If you are great. if you aren't and it really matters to you than do something to change it...but lets leave the judging and comments out of it!
"Health is one of those things we take for granted until we lose it, then spend all of your time trying to get it back"
"Working out is a PRIVILEGE! There are people who would love to but physically not able. Be grateful for what you've got and take care of YOURSELF."
