Memoirs of a Fat Guy

   Sometimes just getting back on the horse is enough to turn things around! Last week I was a little frustrated because I weighed in at 279, one pound MORE than the previous week. But, rather than dwell on it, I just centered myself, and stuck to the program: 2000 calories a day or less, and plenty of water. This weeks weigh-in: 272! Leads me to believe that last week was a fluke somehow. However it turns out, I started all this at 293 pounds, which would mean I've dropped 21 pounds in about a month and a half!
   No, it's not easy. At times it's almost a physical struggle not to cheat. I'm finding that my food addiction is behaving closely akin to alcoholism, unfortunately. If I weaken and cheat, the guilt follows, the self-esteem plummets, and I'm in worse need of the "comfort" food can provide. I don't feel great, either, even when I'm not cheating, and that's one of the worst parts. One hopes that with the sacrifices come immediate rewards, instant gratification. After all, that's what we get from the food, right? Trouble is, instant gratification is what landed me at the 300 mark in the first place, and put my overall health in jeopardy. No, in fact, I've felt weak and shaky at times, drained of energy at times, and even dizzy and nauseous at times. What I'm wishing for is renewed energy, and a feeling of being "lighter". So far, my ONLY reward for all this has been on weigh-in day, when I see the proof of my efforts. Imagine my disappointment last week, and the effort it took for me not to binge!
   My doctor explained it to me this way: "You gained this weight one forkful, one spoonful at a time. You're going to have to lose it the same way". I hate him for being right, the smug bastard!
   I don't know that my writing all this down here is helping any of you who may read it, but I want you all to know that you're not alone in your struggles. Just remember that you can always get back on that horse, it's never too late to start, or "too far gone" to make changes. Obesity and eating disorders are diseases just as dangerous and life-threatening as drug addiction, and if we're going to beat this thing, we're going to need all the help we can get. I'm here for you, as often as possible! More to come...