Baby Steps

I never knew the struggle of being overweight until recently. Throughout my childhood and young adult life I was the only member of the family who wasn't obese. I was 5 feet tall and weighed 115 and found clothes quickly and easily when it was time to shop. I remember complaining about my weight back then and looking back I wish someone would have slapped me because I would give anything to be that size again!

Nine months ago, I had my first child. Being my naiive self, I believed the fairy tales of a pregnant woman being able to eat anything in site, every craving she desired. With that, I gained 55 pounds before delivery. I assumed that it would all disappear when my daughter was born, but to my surprise it's been with me ever since.

Now, every day is a struggle. I wake up dreading the day's "mission impossible": finding something to wear. Everything is huge, baggy, and just plain UGLY! I could probably find cuter clothes my size, but I can't stand the hassle of trying on clothes over and over and over with no success. I feel like I have been defeated and forced to just "accept it and move on."

That's the easy way out. Yes, my boyfriend still loves me and is attracted to me, after all I am the mother of his child. Then I see the people who didn't give up. Friends, co-workers, family. People that seem like they have been hiding, and when I actually notice them I realize that they are in a completely different body. It's amazing how people lose tons of weight and go on about their day like nothing happened. I may not say it to them, but it is such an inspiration. It makes me feel like if she can do, then I can do it.

I currently stand at 175 lbs. My goal is to lose 40-45 by july 31st (my daughter's 1st birthday). I am taking an appetite suppresant to help with my bad over eating habit just until I get used to a different diet/schedule. I am also and have been for the past 3 weeks working out 4-5 times a week. ( Started by walking at an increasing incline for 30 minutes and machines and am currently at a jog-walk 30 minute trade off and machines). The hardest part is the food. I am a very picky eater and was not raised to eat healthy. It's a major challenge to change a habit that you have had you're entire life. I have found so far that it starts with the grocery store. What you buy is what you will eat and don't go shopping on an empty stomach! I am writing this to motivate myself, and I believe that I can do it as long as I don't give in the evil temptations of fast food and dessert! (yummmmmmm)