a new start

Hello, i am 40 years old hav always been over weight for as long as i can remember...in 1998 i met this man and we got married in 2003. in 2004 i had to make a choice of living or getting the gastric bypass. when i had my cardiac testing the dr stating that the fat around my heart  sufficating it and my heart was skipping 6 beats per min. and it was only going to progress and the ending will be terminal. i made the choice to get the surgery and lost 180 pounds in 11 months. after that my husband and i started having problems in 2006 when his mom passed away. and there was alot of stress on the marriage and i started to go into a depression and put on a few pounds and after a few years of that we separated due to physical abuse. after 3 years i met someone a great guy. but the stress is still there due to the husband dont want to sign divorce papers. the boyfriend and i had to make changes and commit and work things out and now we have made the choice that we want to start a family and we went threw fertility treatments and had 5 IUI's  and they all disappointing and on oct 15th 2012 we found out we were going to have a baby, once again the black cloud was above my head and on nov i found out i had miscarried. being this was my first preg and had tried 11 years prior and never got preg i didnt think it was possible. after finding out the news i was devestated and went into a deeper depression.. i got on the scale and the weight was higher.. i have forced myself to get back on the right track to lose the weight and continue with our dream of having a family. so here i am going to re-start my journey and with the good lord above he will grant us a healthy baby at the end of this. so we are working on getting the first 10 pounds off... here we go and good luck to everyone ...