Just me

Hi, my name is Christina. I'm engaged to a man that is wonderful and frustrating.    That's my kind of guy. Umm a little info about me I'm five foot one (maybe) and right around 180 pounds. I've been told i carry it extremely well for my height but i can't see it. my mom was always ragging on me for my weight so i'm very self concious. i have reddish brown hair for the moment but normally its a sandy brown and brown eyes. i love going outside and doing things but am in a tight financial situation so im always trying to get more hours at work which has been leaving me too tired to do anything else. i want to start losing the weight because i want to have a baby and be at a healthy weight during the pregnancy and eat healthier during it. i was already pregnant once before in the spring but lost them in june. i have tried to lose weight before but never could do it on my own for very long. thats my biggest down fall is the motivation my sister and i were doing it together but on sept 1 2009 she commited suicide im going to try this again to be strong for her kids and so i can keep up with them this is going to be hard to start it at this time of year since we just had halloween thanksgiving is almost here and then you have christmas as well.  if you actually read this i thank you its kind of going to be my ups and downs page where i can celebrate and rant on everything. i would love some friends who can kind of point me in the right direction or can fumble our way through this together. bye for now o let me know if you want to know anything else about me