so..yea......I'M FAT .....or morbidly obese as the Doctors would say
though i can Handel fat better than i guess the connotations that go with " morbid " - reminds me of an old zombie movie and i imagine mass groups of "obese" people waddling threw the streets in search for Coo-Kies instead of ....
Br-Ains.......and i just cant imagine myself as a zombie
so as an over eater and an overweight person i have an addiction and many over weight people will give you a laundry list of excuses as to why they put on the weight and I'm no excuse so i thought my first task would be to examine the reasons I've come to this colossal weight of 389 !!! and it took quite a while for me to admit that to myself
so-ooo here goes
1. I wasn't aloud outside as a child because i was and still am allergic to almost everything
2.the enormous amount of steroids they pumped into my body because at 2 years old i was diagnosed with asthma
- and was told at 16 "this would have no affect on my weight " RIGHT!
3. I was 6 years old the first time my mother and my doctor put me on a diet- and I've always rebelled
4. I lived in a very "chaotic" family environment and have always been an emotional eater
5. I gave up on Suicide attempts as a teenager dealing with depression and turned my direction to food to eat myself to death - because people wouldn't notice
6. I hate exercise - no I loath exercise
7. I'm lazy....yea
8. I love food - the food network is like porn for me
9 I'd binge eat
10. I don't sweat
11. I have a new doctor who is extremely rude to women because of his culture and told my mother to tell my husband to lock me in a room and not feed me so id be more attractive!!! WTF
12. I never thought i was worthy of being healthy/happy
ahh - that was cleansing
well, we'll see where this takes me
Steph
