bye bye belly

38 F

Day 1 - About Time

Friday, August 21, 2009 at 9:12 PM filed under Weight Loss postings
so..yea......I'M FAT .....or morbidly obese as the Doctors would say
though i can Handel fat better than i guess the connotations that go with " morbid " - reminds me of an old zombie movie and i imagine mass groups of "obese" people waddling threw the streets in search for  Coo-Kies instead of ....

Br-Ains.......and i just cant imagine myself as a zombie

so as an over eater and an overweight person i have an addiction and many over weight people will give you a laundry list of excuses as to why they put on the weight and I'm no excuse so i thought my first task would be to examine the reasons I've come to this colossal weight of 389 !!! and it took quite a while for me to admit that to myself

so-ooo here goes

1. I wasn't aloud outside as a child because i was and still am allergic to almost everything 

2.the enormous amount of steroids they pumped into my body because at 2 years old i was diagnosed with asthma

- and was told at 16 "this would have no affect on my weight " RIGHT!

3. I was 6 years old the first time my mother and my doctor put me on a diet- and I've always rebelled

4. I lived in a very "chaotic" family environment and have always been an emotional eater

5. I gave up on Suicide attempts as a teenager dealing with depression and turned my direction to food to eat myself to death - because people wouldn't notice

6. I hate exercise - no I loath exercise

7. I'm lazy....yea

8. I love food - the food network is like porn for me

9 I'd binge eat

10. I don't sweat

11. I have a new doctor who is extremely rude to women because of his culture and told my mother to tell my husband to lock me in a room and not feed me so id be more attractive!!! WTF

12. I never thought i was worthy of being healthy/happy

ahh - that was cleansing
well, we'll see where this takes me


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