One Day At a Time

Okay so here i am again trying another diet, looking for another way to lose all of my weight. I look at myself in the mirror and I dont see me at all. I definately dont see the person I want to be. Instead I see a monster a fatty with nothing but rolls and big belly. This time is different though. Today I went to the doctor and he weighed me and the scale said 229! I couldnt believe what i was seeing. NOT ever once in my life have i been this big. I have battled with weight issues for years actually all of my life. When i was a kid I had a eating disorder it started out basically a way to get attention but then it became a daily thing. I never wanted to eat. I weight 98 pounds at the age of 13. When i started high school i gained a lot of weight and was 190 pounds when i graduated in 2005. After graduating high school i started to buy Stacker 2's and lost 65 pounds. Then i found out i was pregnant and gained all my weight back. So here i am 2 yrs after my daughter has been born and I weigh 229 pounds. I feel disgusting when i look at myself I think... Who is this hideous looking person I hate my image. So today starts the new day. I am going to lose this weight my weight goal is 150 so yes I want to lose about 80 pounds and I want to do it in the next six months. Hopefully I can do it or atleast come close. So here we are. I will blog everyday about how i exercise and eat and what is good and isnt for me. I will probably talk about the stress and obstacles in my life as well.

My daughter her name is Alivia, she is 2 yrs old and the light in my life. I live with her daddy who is the other love of my life Jeff. he isnt just my heart but my best friend. Sometimes i feel like he hates me because of the weight ive gained. Everyday though, he tells me i am beautiful and how much he loves me. Ive seen him look at other girls... Skinny girls and i know he wishes i could be like that. I wish I could be like that.

I have 2 best friends one is my sister, the other is like my sister her name is Tamara. I love them both to death and could tell either of them anything.

I am 23 yrs old and I am ready to get my life on track so here we go and hopefully i do what i need to in order to lose all my  weight!

till next time xoxo Amanda