The Journey to becoming Me

This is something that is so new for me. I have always wanted to express my thoughts with no reservations. It has always been hard for me to express my true thoughts out of fear. That fear has ruled in my life for most of it. I have had some traumatic experiences in my childhood that embedded that fear deep through to my core. That fear also caused me to withdraw into myself, excluding all others from the real me. I believe that sometimes includes me. I am able to adapt to many situations and am able to get along with many different cultures. I think that is due to me putting up different personas. I often find myself adopting the styles and verbiage of new acquaintances. I think that ability can help in certain situations but not when it comes to taking care of myself. In social situations I am so accommodating of others even to my detriment. That has proven to lead to me cheating on my diet or derailing it altogether. I am beyond tired of the ongoing cycle. I have been fat long enough!!! What sent me over the edge: My Birth mother (who has Diabetes) told me that my uncle and cousin now has diabetes. That is not an option for me! There is so much more to my reasons for me doing this so stay tuned.