the journey to hotness

I am so mad at myself.  Last night, I ate way too much. It's the same ugly cycle everyday. I wake up, mad at myself from the night before, but positive about the upcoming day. Coffee, no breakfast *because i'm not hungry because i gorged myself the night before* go to work, eat a huge lunch cause i'm hungry then work more. get home at 830 and eat two yogurts, a banana, a cracker pack, 2 granola bars , 2 lindoor truffles and a bowl of mac and cheeseand then stumble to bed i

I hav ealways avoided making a journal, or any kind of record of my thoughts.  Especially my journey with weighloss. i have avoided what naturally makes sense. there's something unsettleing for me to look back at my past thoughts. but since i have tried everything else, and have hated myself a million times for not being committed enough to lose weight, this online journal serves as aplace for me to clarify my goals and write anything else that will propel me towards the kind of p